Run, Mitt, run!

With Super Tuesday behind us and a relatively strong showing by Mitt Romney, the question starts to loom who could be the Robin to Mitt’s Batman. In other words, who will the Mittster choose as his running mate and prospective Vice-President? Barack Obama will naturally stick with Joe Biden, since the Obama-Biden partnership has been quite successful. Biden does what a good ‘veep’ does: he complements the president. Obama is young, Biden is somewhat older; Obama was relatively unexperienced in foreign policy, Biden has a long track record in dealing with America’s allies; Obama can sometimes come across as an out-of-touch university professor, Biden has that down-to-earth touch that works well with blue-collar voters. (And he looks like Jack Nicholson’s impression of The Joker. But we’re digressing).

However, before we take you through likely sidekicks for Mitt though, let’s briefly consider the other possibilities. In the unlikely event that Rick Santorum wins the nomination, there are two options. Either Santorum goes all-out bat shit crazy, which means that he would go for another conservative, Christian, tea-party nut. We don’t believe the Republican leadership will let that happen, but in that case dont be surprised if Michele “The Third Crazy Lady” Bachmann or Christine “I used to dabble in witchcraft” O’Donnell (also known as The Witches) make a comeback. On the other hand, Rick could also try to make himself a bit more mainstream, in which case he could maybe go for a young star, such as Marco Rubio, one of the two current Senators for Florida.

Of course, if hell freezes over, even Newt Gingrich might be the Republican nominee. But Newt is so unbelievably full of himself, that we’re quite sure he won’t choose a running mate at all and will simply run alone, under the motto “The only one good enough to become Newt’s running mate is Newt.” But again, it’s not gonna happen, so with regards to Newt we say: fuggedaboutit.

Anyway, let’s get back to reality and look at Mitt’s short-list. While he is likely to win the nomination, Romney’s problem is well-known: conservatives think he is a fake and independents think he is nothing but a rich businessman. So Romney could look in a number of categories, in order to strengthen his own credentials:

The tea-partyists
So, Romney is not loved among the tea-party crew. Partly that is because he is not as much of a nut as the average tea party supporter, but partly it is because Romney used to support abortion rights and introduced an Obamacare-style healthcare system when he was governor of Massachussetts. So what Romney needs is a tea-party darling. Again, he could go for familiar names like Rick Perry or Michele Bachmann, but they are too wacko and bring too much negative baggage. Which is why we vouch for Nikki Haley, the governor of South Carolina. She is loved by the tea party, she is less insane than the others, and she is at least as good-looking as Sarah Palin. Also, she already endorsed Romney publicly:

The fiscal conservatives
Another worry on the minds of many voters is the economy and the national deficit. So who better to choose than a Republican who has a trackrecord in cutting government spending and taking on the unions? Mitch Daniels, the governor of Indiana, perfectly fits this bill but doesn’t really have enough star power yet. Which is why our vote in this category would go to New Jersey governor Chris Christie. Last year, Christie was one of the names floating around to run for president himself, but he indicated that is job in Jersey is not done yet. Fiscal conservatives love Christie, and he is good fun too. Especially his ability to bad-mouth reporters he thinks are stupid is the stuff of legends:

The social conservatives
To really get rid of conservative suspicions that Romney is secretly a gay-lovin’, baby-killin’ liberal, Romney could also opt for a hyper-social conservative. If that is his choice, there is only one candidate: Rick Santorum. They might seem like they are from two different planets, but that’s the beauty of it! Romney can be Romney again and move back towards the centre where he belongs, while Santorum is reeling in the conservative vote. Whether it would be enough to beat Obama remains to be seen, but it would be an interesting combo.

So, that’s our two cents. Any suggestions for potential veeps, drop them in the comments!