Since several candidates have already announced their official participation in this little popularity contest we like to call the United States Presidential Election 2016, we could no longer sit idly by whilst other news outlets were having all the fun.
And yes, the fun has indeed already begun. Be that mainly in the corner for Republican hopefuls with dynamic duo Ted Cruz and Rand Paul (older SYWBANP’ers may recall his poppa, two-time presidential candidate Ron Paul).
Rand is not playing super nice with the media at the moment, whether he’s telling journalists how to do their jobs, to actually shushing them, or plain old refusing to answer questions because they are hard questions. In his defence, sometimes those questions are super hard and reporters are being super not nice and that is super annoying and it’s not like being president is going to be anything like that, like, super difficult or anything.
Other candidates on the Republican side include Ted Cruz, who hates ObamaCare, but signed up for it anyway, former president of the American Red Cross Mark Everson and Jack Fellure, a retired engineer and the presidential nominee of the Prohibition Party for the 2012 presidential election.
On the Democratic side we have of course Hillary Clinton, who is just a great choice, apart from the fact that it recently came to light that she used her personal email when she was Secretary of State, rather than a government account, and who’s mail servers miraculously were swiped. Also, she and her husband, former president Bill Clinton, basically run Washington as if they were the Underwood’s themselves, but hey, what’s not to love.
Continuing we have Jeff Boss, a nine-eleven “Truther” from New Jersey, Vermin Supreme a performance artist from Massachusetts and Robby Wells from North Carolina (we wonder wether Nancy Pfotenhauer would regard that as the “real” Carolina. All stellar choices, if you ask us.
There are some more independent and third party hopefuls. But unless they do something magically spectacular, we are really not interested.
On the “formally exploring candidacy” side, we have peeps like Jeb Bush, and Chris Christie, but also last season’s fun bunch Rick Perry, Rick Santorum and Mike Huckabee. Cherry on the candidacy ice cream cake with fudge and chocolate and gold flakes shaped like diamonds, would be lover of all things shiny and hairy: Donald Trump. Please Donald, please.. DO IT!!
There is also a “publicly expressed interest” chapter, including current Vice President Joe Biden. But that would mean mister “finger point” would have to do some actual work, instead of standing behind Obama and feeling up other peoples wives. Not super duper likely.
Either way: we will slowly start up the SYWBANP news machine to give you all the latest and greatest from Candidacy Crazytown. Don’t forget to sign up for our brand spanking new Twitter feed and Facebook page.